Thursday, July 15, 2010

Why I am Socially Inept

So today I realized I should have posted about RomCon. I had a great time in Denver--probably the most relaxed and intimate conference I've ever been to. I should have posted the highlights when I still remembered them (Like having dinner with Jo Beverly; I don't mean listening to her speak, although her speech was great, I mean sitting next to her at dinner Friday night.And then having dinner with Julia Quinn on Saturday--again, I sat NEXT to her. Hey, I may be an author, but I'm also a fan). I met some wonderful people--readers and authors--and I am definitely planning on attending next year. In two weeks I Go to RWA and plan to post about that conference. We'll see how I do.

But I realized how socially inept I am. I had a lovely women invite me to have drinks with her and her friends in her room, and I turned her down, not because I was opposed to having drinks with her but because I can't switch gears that fast. If I have it in my mind that something is going to happen or I'm going somewhere, I can't just switch plans. It absolutely throws me. And about half an hour later, I was kicking myself for not joining in the fun this woman and her friends were having in their room. Spontaneity, you are a stranger to me.

I was on a panel at RomCon with others and didn't say a word. I suddenly froze up. If you know me, and know that I have an acting background (waaay back when), you'd be laughing at me. But suddenly this room was looking at us, and I had nothing brilliant to say, so I was afraid to speak up. There were words and ideas in my head, but I never peeped up. So I looked like a lump. Idiot!

I know we are all hard on ourselves, but I'm angry with myself. Few people are that outright mean to want to see someone fail, yet that is exactly what I am afraid of. Sigh.

So I'm determined to work on it. I'm neither glib nor witty in real life (That's why I write), but I have to remember that most people aren't judging me either. So if you see me at RWA, come engage me in a conversation, or if I sit down and say something stupid, just chuckle gently and love me anyway.

Yours neurotically
Books I'm Reading now:
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling

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