My weekend was filled with grand plans of rewriting, editing, creating, and producing. Instead, I did nothing. Nothing of value anyway (Video games don't count--I'm sorry, they don't). I can't even remember how I spent Saturday (don't tell me I'm old--I know), and I can tell you how I spent today, but I don't want to (it involved hours playing a mindless game on the computer). Really, I wasted TIME--time that should always be handled as if it were precious, because it is.
I could try to justify my time squandering as a needed break from the day job or that my mind needed to disengage for a moment, but the truth is I was lazy. And honestly, I was scared. I have a major edit to do on a proposal that was difficult to write in the first place, and now I've learned it really doesn't work as it is. And so I'm afraid. I'm afraid that when I look at it, I won't know how to fix it. I won't know what to do. The Magic wasn't with me when I wrote it and I'm afraid it won't be there when I try again.
The stupid part is that I KNOW the Magic comes the more you use it. Just doing it (Thanks, Nike) actually works. No good comes from finding excuses or avoiding the work or "waiting for the muse." The muse comes when you show her that you respect her and do the freaking work.
So I wasted my weekend, and tomorrow is Monday and I'm back at work. Maybe I've learned my lesson. I'll let you know next weekend. In the meantime, if you have any magic to spare, send some my way.
(By the way, if my editor or agent reads this, don't take it so seriously.)
--Gabi
P.S. My contest ends March 31 at Fresh Fiction. Be sure to check it out.
Books I'm reading now:
Fortune and Fate by Sharon Shinn
Maybe you needed the down time so that the magic could fill up in the well. It seems to happen that way sometimes. You'll know when it's there again.
ReplyDeleteWish I had sage, advice, my friend. Been there... I have learned that I have to fill up the tank occasionally...sadly...I have to plan to fill it up. Something's wrong with that, I think. So, since I have no solution, I can give you my favorite quote these days...It's from the "Southern Magic RWA chapter."
ReplyDelete"I am a writer. I will finish this book because I have the skill, talent, energy, and courage to do so. And when the demons of self-doubt rear their ugly heads, I will shout them down with words. Because I am a writer."
All I can say is BICHOK :-).